Two funerals, two days, one singer and an organist

A rare treat for singer Kirsty last week, two funerals in two days with her favourite funeral organist Paul Burgoyne. Two very contrasting services too!

First, a RC mass in London where Kirsty led the hymns and sung various responses, while Paul conquered a rather reluctant piano that had no sustain. A sincere and heartfelt service with lovely family contributions, including readings and a song by the grandchildren.

Then, a quiet but very refined service at the lovely little chapel at the North East Surrey Crematorium. Very peaceful, very elegant, just like the lady herself, I gather. Paul had advised on the purchase of their new chapel organ, and it was a delight – a lovely sound and so right for the space, much enhanced by Paul’s sensitive and expressive playing.

“Kirsty, you & Paul (organist) were absolutely amazing, thank you from the bottom of my  heart. Everyone was talking about you, full of praise. My dad was so pleased, and he kept  saying “Beautiful, beautiful” which it was – you were both so magical!”
CA, on her mother’s funeral mass in Camberwell, London

“Thank you for singing – it made the service so special and so suitable for my opera-loving mother.”
SG, funeral service at North East Surrey Crematorium, Lower Morden

Religious music at civil funerals

A recent cremation service highlighted an interesting question: should you have religious music at a non-religious funeral service?

For weddings, it’s clear-cut; a civil service should not include music that refers to God or faith. However, for funerals, there are no such rules.

Which we actually consider a Rather Good Thing. A wedding is about the couple’s future, and if that lies along a non-religious route, so be it. A funeral is a celebration of a life departed by and for those who knew and loved them, a group of people that usually encompasses a wide range of beliefs.

The ceremony I sang at was officiated by a celebrant, and opened with the Barber Agnus Dei (Adagio for Strings). My solo was the Lloyd Webber “Pie Jesu”, and the service included the Lord’s Prayer. 

And it worked perfectly, blending the deceased’s love of music with the less formal  words of a celebrant-led service, and still containing the crucial element of a dignified celebration of a life well lived.

So, the recent discussion of whether a Bath crematorium should remove the cross from their window is, to our mind, missing the point entirely. We are an inclusive society and a Christian country, and if we were to remove a symbol of the latter, we wouldn’t truly be the former. Inclusivity is not achieved by excluding.

Choosing hymns for funerals

At a funeral service last week, we were reminded of the generation gaps between those brought up singing traditional hymns at school or in church, and those who probably didn’t sing them at all. The choices seemed very ‘safe’ – All Things Bright and Beautiful, and Onwards Christian Soldiers, yet the latter caused the chapel to go a little quiet…. 

As our soloist Kirsty sang through the verses, the problem became apparent – it’s a very LOW hymn for ladies (and some gents), gravelling around on bottom Cs at the start of the repeated chorus. As a mezzo with a good bottom (if you pardon the expression), Kirsty had no problem, but it reminded us that sometimes a higher key might suit a congregation of mixed ages, where those who don’t know it need to be able to grasp the tune quickly, and then sing it. 

However, it wasn’t the hymns that finally let the mourners find their voices, it was the inspired choice of a medley of the deceased’s favourite songs at the end of the service, starting with the music hall classic “Enery the Eight I Am”. 

It was a fantastic moment when the entire chapel burst into song, word perfect, and smiles and tears of remembered happinesses breaking out all round. It was definitely one of the best moments in a funeral we’ve seen, and a classic example of how the right choice of music can send a congregation home with a smile. 

And the family were pleased too:

“Just a short note to say a very, very big thank you. The service that you provided was excellent, and all the family were so happy with the singing, and your professionalism.”

 

Singers for Funerals perform at National Funeral Exhibition

Singers for Funerals will be appearing at the National Funeral Exhibition this Saturday, performing opera and popular songs to entertain visitors, at the bar area in hall 2.

Soprano Toni Nunn, mezzo Kirsty Young and tenor Richard Owen will be singing 3 different sets between 2pm and 4pm, so if you want to know what we sound like, stop by and have a listen.

We will also be touring the exhibition in between sets, so if you spot us wandering around with leaflets, do say hello!

The National Funeral Exhibition is on at the Stoneleigh Exhibition Centre near Warwick from Friday 10 June until Sunday 12 June 2011. For full details, see http://www.nationalfuneralexhibition.co.uk.

A lump in your throat; why singing at funerals is difficult

At Singers for Funerals, we are more than aware that a lot of people find it difficult to sing at a funeral because they are emotionally involved. This is absolutely natural, as if you are upset and literally ‘uptight’, you are constricting your vocal mechanism.

As professional singers, our soloists have years of training that enable them to sing in almost any situation. So, they are able to sing beautifully at a service even when most of the congregation may be in tears. As professional singers, they are able to detach themselves a little from proceedings, enabling them to give their best performance.

And we find it not just the family who appreciate what we do; often, guests come to us afterwards and say how the singing helped then say goodbye, which is perhaps the ultimate compliment.

“Thank you very much for your beautiful singing at L’s funeral. I was holding my daughter’s hand for the hymn and neither of us could sing as we were so choked. Suddenly we heard above all the strength and beauty of the most colourful enrichment to our grief. We found our voices and sang with you ’till the end.
You can never know just what your sweet voices did for us, as no doubt to others too, and I will always treasure the moment.”
BM, Farnborough

 

pic by Infrogmation at flickr.com

Funeral music: is the hymn dying out?

In their recent report*, the Cooperative Funeralcare discovered:

“If dress and decoration is the most visible sign of change, then choice of music is the most audible. Our study reveals that religious music is on the decline. Many people now express a preference for personal favourites or contemporary songs. Often the music chosen by the family – or specified by the person to be played at their funeral – is light-hearted.”

However, the report also says that 67% of its funeral are still traditional, led by a minister. And, within the 21% classified as contemporary, hymns still often feature in the order of service. So, that’s still a lot of funerals where hymns play an important part, and increasingly we’re being asked to lead the hymn singing at services.

This is probably for two reasons; mainly that not everyone feels like singing at a funeral, and also, they may not know the tune. At Singers for Funerals, we make sure we learn any new hymns before the service, so when we lead the hymn singing, we can sing the tune with confidence, and others can follow. We admit, we’ve had to learn a few new hymns, and we’ve also discovered new words to old favourites.

So, we’ve set up www.songsforfunerals.co.uk, where anyone can hear hymns sung or played, and find hymn lyrics for service sheets as required. And every time we sing a hymn new to us, we’ll put it on the site too!

* “The Ways We Say Goodbye: A study of 21st century funeral customs in the UK” published by Co-operative Funeralcare.

photo of old hymnbooks in a bin (how sad is that!) by janerc at flickr.com

The Focal Point of A Funeral

At Singers for Funerals, one of the first questions we ask our fellow singers on their return from a service is, “What was the coffin like?”

Now, this may seem a rather odd question, but more and more we’ve seen the appearance of non-traditional coffins, and since we’re often standing beside them to sing, we notice these things. While most families opt for a traditional wooden casket, we have also seen some lovely alternatives including:

• woven willow caskets topped with bright flowers including sunflowers and birds of paradise

• a cream felt coffin made from British wool decked with garlands of spring flowers

• large American style caskets, although they can be a tight fit through the doors of a small county church!

We have yet to see a decorated pictorial coffin (usually made from recycled materials), but we are sure it won’t be long. It’s definitely part of a move towards celebrating a life as well as mourning a passing, and a recent report suggest that over 56% of us want our funeral to be a celebration too. So, if you’d like to celebrate a life with live music, we’re happy to be part of it; see our funeral music website for more details.

Crematorium Organists: Use them or Lose Them

We were talking recently to an organist who had been playing for services at a crematorium for over 20 years, during which time he had seen major changes in funeral customs first-hand. Whereas he used to play the music for all the service, including entrance and exit, he usually now only played hymns, and not at every service either.

So, he was especially delighted to accompany our mezzosoprano at a funeral last month, and we were delighted to perform with such a good musician. We had more comments on the ‘wonderful music’ than we’d had for quite a time.

However, under the obvious professional pride in his work, he was concerned that with the cuts imposed on local councils, he or the other professional organist might be ‘let go’.

Let us say right now, that would be a tremendous shame. A good organist is a joy and a treasure (trust us, we’ve met the others…), and their playing adds so much to any service. At EVERY crematorium funeral service we sing at, at least two people come up afterwards and say how much they enjoyed hearing live music, and how it made the whole service feel special. And, hand on heart, if we’ve had a live organist play for us, we feel it’s been special too. In our view, nothing beats live music at a funeral to help celebrate a life well lived.

So, if you have the option, use your crematorium organist’s skills and experience – we always do if we can. Which is why our mezzosoprano Kirsty is proud to a Fellow of the Society of Crematorium Organists, even though she can’t play a note herself!

Music adds more to a funeral service

One of our recent clients explains (in an unsolicited letter) just what our singing at his father’s funeral meant to him:

“On behalf of my whole family, I had to write to thank you for your beautiful performance at my father’s funeral service. Everyone found the combination of your perfect voice and the organ accompaniment very moving and uplifting.

The funeral of a much-loved father can never be a happy occasion but I think it is vital that the family should have the comfort of sharing the memory of a special ceremony, both to help them accept their loss and also to bring them closer to each other. Your contribution ensured that the day was very special and memorable for us.

As the funeral organiser, I was impressed with the professional way you handled all the arrangements with the minister and the crematorium yourself beforehand, which was one less thing for me to worry about at a very difficult time.

Please feel free to use anything from this letter, including my name, as a testimonial. I will certainly recommend you to anyone.

With our sincere thanks,
John Cartledge and family”

 

At Singers for Funerals, we do consider ourselves very lucky that we can use our talents to help people in times of sadness. Long may we be able to do so.

 

Creating an Individual Funeral

One of the great pleasures of attending so many funerals as a funeral singer is that you get to experience a wide variety of service styles. While we can probably quote the standard crematorium service word for word by now, we are finding more and more that families are personalising the services with readings, poems, eulogies and, of course, their own choice of music, whether sung live or recorded.

As funeral historian Dr Julian Litten noted in a recent report*
“The funeral is our one opportunity to publicly express our individuality. … In today’s multi-cultural and increasingly secular society, new trends are constantly being added to our established customs. This is to be welcomed, for it is in this way that these traditions are allowed to develop.”

At Singers for Funerals, we’re happy to sing any music that’s suitable for a classically trained or theatre-trained voice, sung without microphone. We are just as happy singing “My Way” as “Ave Maria” or “You Raise Me Up”, and often we can suggest music that tie in with people’s hobbies or interests. We’re also quite honest about what we don’t do; we always say that if your loved one loved Freddie Mercury or Frank Sinatra, play a cd. If, however, they loved the song “My Way”, why not have it sung live, for a special touch. Contact us at Singers for Funerals for more details.

* “The Ways We Say Goodbye: A study of 21st century funeral customs in the UK” published by Co-operative Funeralcare.  http://www.co-operativefuneralcare.co.uk